This weekly breakfast is one of the only rituals I’ve consistently maintained since leaving college: hash browns, sausage links, and an egg, over-medium. I hate cooking, but I love my American-farm breakfast. With sufficient practice, I’ve got this down to a science. To prepare this delicious meal, you need the following equipment:

• George Foreman Grill ($49.99 from Amazon). There are many varieties of Foreman Grill; ours has only a timer (one-minute increments) with no heat control.
• 10″ sauté pan ($16.99 from Amazon)
• 8″ omelette pan
• Olive Oil Sprayer ($19.99 from Amazon)
• Large spatula for hash browns and sausages
• Small delicate spatula for egg

Groceries:

• Jimmy Dean Maple Pork Sausage Links: $3.79, 12-link (10 oz.) package. We used to eat turkey sausage, but the supermarket stopped carrying them.
• Oreida Hash Browns: $2.99, 30-oz. package
• Large Brown Cage Free Eggs: $2.99, 1 dozen. Aside from guilt-free consumption of eggs laid by humanely-treated hormone-free vegetarian chickens, the eggshells are sturdier, and the eggs taste better. These “gourmet” eggs do not come in “extra large” or “jumbo” sizes.
• Tropicana “Pure Premium” Orange Juice: $3.99, 3-qt. (96 fl. oz.) container
• Crisco Pure Canola Oil: $3.49, 48-oz. bottle
• Filippo Berio Extra Virgin Olive Oil: $25.99, 3L container

Preparation:

• Foreman grill
• 10″ and 8″ pans
• Frozen sausage links
• Frozen hash browns
• Egg, cracked open and poured into a bowl, set aside for later
• Canola oil
• Olive oil sprayer pumped and ready
• Hash brown spatula, egg spatula

Cost and nutritional analysis:

I researched this meal with a very expensive board-certified nutrition specialist for a medical opinion: “The recommended daily diet is 2000 calories (25-35% fat), spread out over 3 meals and 2 snacks. Calorie-wise (516), this meal is not bad. Fat-wise (57%, or 33g), not so good.”

Taste-wise, excellent.

“Also, you should know that most Americans eating a variation of this popular meal are probably eating much larger portions of everything, such as 2 or 3 eggs, and a large glass of orange juice.

“Possible side-effects from eating this delicious meal three times a day every day include (but are not limited to):

• Weight loss (yes!): eating this tasty 516-calorie meal three times a day will result in less than the recommended daily 2000 calories.
• Osteopenia (brittle bones): this diet is low in calcium and vitamin D.
• Constipation: this diet is low in fiber.
• Increased risk of type 2 diabetes (poor wound healing, heart attacks, blindness, kidney problems, neuropathy, amputation): potatoes have a high glycemic index, which causes increased insulin levels.
• High cholesterol (strokes, heart attacks): the sausages are high in animal fat.

“For a healthier meal, substitute the hash browns with buttered multi-grain toast. This will reduce the glycemic index and fat (depending on the amount of butter) and add some fiber.”